One struggle that young people go through is waiting for a marriage partner. Many times, young people find themselves in serious relationships and unsure if they are dating the right person. I can relate to this longing having been in a long distance relationship for several years prior to getting married. I believe that waiting to get married and even spending time away from each other is an important part of determining whether the person you’re dating is the right one. Many settle for spouses because they think the perfect match isn’t out there. Pre-marrieds who are getting older, also feel pressure from family and friends to get married. My advice to them is always the same. Have you prayed about this? What is God saying to you about spending the rest of your life with this person? Spend some time apart from each other and get God’s perspective on the relationship. When we talk about matters of the heart, falling in love, and giving someone the key to your soul, many people have blind spots. Couples often want to rush into physical and emotional commitments without thought to the long term impact. Consider that God is the one that created you and wants only goodness for you and your future spouse. Also consider that starting a relationship leads to an emotional attachment. Be intentional about maturing in your Christian walk and hearing God’s voice. I know many pre-marrieds who often meet, fall in love, and then get married despite warning signs that the marriage may not succeed. This is sad to see, and it can be avoided.

Some pre-marrieds do not seek the guidance of Holy Spirit in their decision at all. Often, people in this category carry so much trauma and believe marriage is the answer to their healing. They often reject the voice of the Lord and the warning of family and friends.

Another growing category is couples that simply live together because they want to “test drive” marriage. Usually, one or both of the parties are afraid to commit, but both want the physical and emotional stability that marriage brings.

The good news is that we all need to become whole and healthier and God is always willing to do this for us. Even if you’re married, and you have doubts about the decision you’ve made, God can make something beautiful out of your marriage relationship. If you are in the middle of deciding on a mate for life, ask God for guidance. Consider the advice of family and friends as well. Singleness may feel unending, but it won’t last forever. Use the time to prepare yourself for marriage. You are worth it. Don’t settle for less than the absolute best.