My grandfather died several years ago, and his last day on earth is a precious memory for me.

He knew his time to see Jesus was coming, but he waited for each of his children to arrive first. He had them come into his bedroom so he could bless them, and only then, after he’d blessed his children, did he pass away. He and my grandmother were married for seventy-three years. Their story is an astounding, quiet testimony of what Jesus can do for two people and their children.

My grandfather might not have used these exact words, but he understood what a culture of honor was, and he made certain it was included in his home. There is something special about honor, and when we create a culture of honor with another person, the Lord does amazing things.

If God has put marriage on your heart, He is calling you to something beautiful and sometimes challenging.

Though you probably already know some of God’s purposes for your life, a number of these purposes will be revealed only after you say, “I do,” and walk with God together with your spouse. That is one of the amazing things about God and doing life with another person. Marriage is never just about two people and how they live—the Lord is building something that will impact others, and honor is a part of what He’s building.

Many of us start our married life with great intentions. “I am going to honor this person no matter what.” But we don’t always understand what honoring our partner entails. Honor isn’t necessarily easy in the routines of life, yet anyone can learn to do it well.

Here are two practical ways you can honor your partner this week.

1. Honoring your partner looks like unconditional acceptance.

Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh. (Gen. 2:24 RSV)

I talk with a lot of couples, and many of them subtly expect the other person to change in some way. Maybe they want them to be more considerate or more outgoing; maybe they think the other person will eventually stop being a night owl and start going to bed earlier.

To be truly one with another person, we need to accept them just as they are.

Honor is a part of the sacred “cleaving” mentioned in Genesis 2. Understanding who and how each person is, and honoring who and how they are, is an important aspect of cleaving.

When it comes to changing, the answer is really about changing ourselves, not the other person. If we have an issue, we need to be able to communicate it in a healthy way that is full of love and not defensiveness or pride. That is what honor looks like as well.

This week, what is one small thing you could do to make your partner feel fully accepted? How could you honor them this way?

2. Honoring your partner looks like paying attention to their heart and listening to it closely.

O my beloved, you are lovely. When I see you in your beauty, I see a radiant city where we will dwell as one. More pleasing than any pleasure, more delightful than any delight, you have ravished my heart, stealing away my strength to resist you. Even hosts of angels stand in awe of you. (Song 6:4 TPT)

Most of us want to be seen. We want to know the other person is interested in, and understands, our heart. Active listening is a huge part of honoring our significant other: really listening to what they have to say; caring about them; committing our time to them, so we can hear them; giving them our full attention as they speak and share their heart. That is what love is about, and it’s what a good, healthy, honoring relationship looks like.

God often brings healing as two people listen to one another and come to understand each other’s emotions.

We honor our partner when we are able to hear what they’re saying, and we further honor them when we are a good communicator, able to speak our heart in love and truth, with honor and respect. That’s why the beauty of learning to communicate well is essential. It really is an art. It is possible to bring the best out of someone and see the gold in them. Even if they’re having a bad day or something triggered them, this is still possible.

This week, practice listening well to your partner. Start a conversation with them, and purposefully listen to what they say as an act of honor toward them.

Honor is a beautiful testimony of Jesus. Two people who honor one another will not only glorify God with their relationship, but they will also see lives change around them.

Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! Other articles from Salomé Roat and Becoming the One:

For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.

2 Practical Ways to Honor the Person You’re Dating